{Day Ten} :: God is Better

This is an exact repost of something written on May 3, 2011 - only because it so perfectly explains how living through certain events with my family taught me God is not only bigger, but He is better. And He is more than enough for me.

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In case you were wondering, it takes six years for a date to fall on the same day.

Case in point: on Tuesday, May 3, 2005, my father suffered a massive stroke the day after his 46th birthday. Now, six years later, it's Tuesday, May 3 again.

You would think that after six years this day might not hold the power it does. You would think I and my family might just pause in momentary reflection and celebration before carrying on.

And for a while I wished a time would come when I could breeze through May 3 with no more than a passing thought at what we endured those years ago.

But this day is more than just a defining moment in my family's history. It is the defining moment in my walk with Christ.

I was finishing my freshman year of college - a time when I was learning how to own my faith, how to truly choose it as mine and not just what Mom and Dad taught growing up. I had just finished the first day of spring-semester finals when I got the call from Mom in the hospital.

Over the next few days the realization of just how bad this could be sank in and along with it settled an intense fear. I spent every waking moment - and even some sleeping ones - begging the Lord for my family's deliverance from fear, from worry, from sadness, from death.

My mom and I clung to the words of Psalm 46 during that week. But I couldn't help also finding myself in Daniel 3 where Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego are facing death by fire because they won't worship King Nebuchadnezzar and his statues.

Daniel 3:17-18 says this:

If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God whom we serve is able to save us. He will rescue us from your power, Your Majesty. But even if He doesn’t, we want to make it clear to you, Your Majesty, that we will never serve your gods or worship the gold statue you have set up.

These three guys knew and believed in God's power. They knew He was bigger than King Nebuchadnezzar could ever even hope to be. They knew He could deliver them in a heartbeat if He so chose. And quite frankly they could have left their speech at that.

And yet they added these words: but even if He doesn't.

Deliverance would be a piece of cake for God, but Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego were resolved to choose Him even if He didn't take that route. They determined not only was God bigger than King Nebuchadnezzar, He was also better.

And thousands of years later sitting on my dorm balcony, laying in my loft bed, taking exams, impatiently driving home and flying into the hospital room to see Dad for the first time, I was faced with the same decision.

I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, God could deliver my dad - from death, from permanent brain damage, from side effects. Oh yes, I knew God was bigger than what we faced by far.

But I had to decide whether to choose Him no matter what the outcome.

So I did. I chose. And I clung to the belief that He was better - even if He didn't.

The choice didn't keep me from praying and begging and pleading for a miracle every moment of every day for a week. It didn't keep me from sadness and even a little fear.

But it did bring peace. And it opened my heart to what the Lord had to teach me in the summer that followed, the summer in which I grew closer to Jesus than any other time in my life.

Fortunately for my family, God did. He did choose to be bigger that May. Not only did He rescue my father from the edge of life and death, He restored Dad almost completely. Only those who know him best can glimpse even a hint of the lasting effects.

So while you might think we should be over May 3 by now, and while for some time I wished I could be, I know that will never happen. Too much has changed since then.

I have seen the power of God. I have tasted the goodness of the Lord. I have known the closeness of Jesus.

I have witnessed how He delivers and restores. I know that He is bigger.

But I have choosen Him no matter what. I have declared Him to be better - even if He didn't.

I will never be the same.

And if for no other reason than that, I will remember and I will celebrate every May 3 for the rest of my life.

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Care to read the lessons I've learned from my family from the beginning?