Monday, February 16, 2009

Time to Settle In

Lately I've been feeling like we only halfway live in our little apartment.

We have a complete set of bedroom furniture, but our Ansel Adams prints are waiting to be hung. A beautiful print of the Old Well in the spring and our diplomas sit on the floor or our office. Books overflow off a makeshift bookcase onto the floor. In the living room, the mantle is filled and a mirror is hung, but the frame with snapshots from our wedding is tucked behind a chair. Our tiny, screened porch is empty except for two folding, Harris Teeter chairs.

I keep telling myself that we haven't had the time to put things where they belong or create the space we want. But we've been here for 7 months now. And the reality is that something in me doesn't want to settle here. Something in me really believes we won't stay long. This is merely a resting place on the way to our real home.

Every bone in this little body of mine yearns for a house. A place where I can host dinner parties for more than four. A place where I can hang something without worrying about how many holes I've already put into the walls. A place with an extra corner or ledge to hold my latest project.

And I convince myself that when we move, I will take the time to make our house a home. We will settle in, stay for a while and I will be content.

But planning for someday makes me likely to miss the magic of the moment that is happening right now. Living with my foot out, ready to take the next step, robs me of the joy that overflows in the place I stand right now.

So stay tuned. It really will be a challenge to find the time these days, but I aim to be intentional about creating a comfortable place for our little family of two. I can already see the lovely living space our porch is begging to be.

This is our home. I think it's time we settle in.


Wolf said...

i longed for my own home for a long time. i didn't settle in my first apartment, or in my second, even though i was there for 3 years. i knew i wasn't staying there and why unpack everything, just to pack it again?

we bought our house and i was so excited to be able to finally make a home. but again, life has taken over and so many other projects have taken precedent to actually doing things in the house and unpacking and nine months later, rooms are still full of boxes and things scattered everywhere. i can't find a lot of my stuff. rooms still have wallpaper on the walls when i just want to be able to paint and hang pictures. there are times i get overwhelmed and saddened by it all.

i've made a commitment to myself that i am going to work on it each week. and luckily i have wonderful friends who want to help out. so i'm hoping this changes for me as well...

ann ominous said...

When I quit working for Residence Life, one of the main reasons was because I so craved a house of my own. One where I could change the color of the walls w/o permission and one that had windows on more than one wall and the walls were made of something other than cinderblock!

Bret and I have lived in our house since July 2007. We just this last week hung our honeymoon pictures and some other wall decor. That you and Wolf are so far ahead of us makes me just a wee bit green ;-). Decorating your home, whether house , farm or apartment is hard but it's so much fun...I'm excited to see how cute your porch will be. I can just see you and your fuzzy blanket and coffee out there!

Stacey @ The Blessed Nest said...

We lived for over 3 years after being married in apartments (in 3 different states, mind you). We worked and saved most of my income for a good sized house down payment. I think so many young couples jump into a home so quickly now (said like an old lady!) and miss the joys of creating little nests together where they are. Some of my fondest memories are of us living in our 1st little (and I mean little!) apartment! I think it's great that you're making your nest a home, and focusing on today! I can't wait to hear how it's coming! :)

Van said...

Hi sweet one, I KNOW your heart. Not a conicidence that I was skipping around blog land and found you. I have moved - many many times. ON Mondays I blog about moving, hoping to give encouragement to that sub culture of move-hers who are always taking down their tents and picking up the stakes. I am praying for your home and your heart, that you would settle in - go ahead hang those pics. Then when you do get a chance to move- stick some toothpaste in those holes - no one will ever know! Bless you!

Lisa said...

Oh, I can so relate to this one. It's like that Trace Adkins song (don't know if you're a country music fan) called "You're Gonna Miss This" -- I experienced that very thing. In our first apartment, within months of living there, I was dreaming of our first home and having children. I think it's a very natural thing for we women to do. And I personally don't think there's anything wrong with that; I think it's the way God wired us, to prepare us for being mothers and caretakers.

We've been married almost 12 years and are on our second home (first was a condo, now we're in a townhome) and while we're still not in our "forever" home (don't know how I know that, but it's a sense I get) we've gone all-out to make our home the way we want it. I used to worry about doing things that would ruin resale down the line, but we've since thrown caution to the wind and done whatever we like with our cozy house. It really does make a world of difference.

Enjoy every moment of making your place a true home! Remember, a little spackling is all you need to fill in the remnants of every day living when you decide not to renew that lease and buy your first home. :) I wish I would've remembered that when we lived in our first apartment!

Love and blessings to you!


Liz said...

I never felt more at home than I did when we first got married (almost 8 years ago, gulp). We lived in a teensy tiny rent house, but I nested and loved it as much as I have my own home. There's just something about sharing that first place that's more special than anything.

Sandy Toes said...

My dear bloggy friend,
I remember those days in an apartment...trying to find contentment...enjoy and cherish those days where you are now.

Find contentment where ever you are b/c if will never be content in a house...b/c you will want something better..bigger....more me I know...
sandy toe

Racquel Simone said...

I pray that at His appointed and SET time, you will receive the desire of your heart. Always remember that someone else always wishes they were where you are, in this case, I long to have my own apartment, and be out of my parents house :) I'm 24 and I believe it's about that time! Blessings.